


House Rules

by Deifire



Category: The Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-24
Updated: 2007-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-25 08:47:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1642349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deifire/pseuds/Deifire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If it smells cursed, don't eat it.and other things Mouse has learned from Mister.</p>
            </blockquote>





	House Rules

**Author's Note:**

> Written for treneka

 

 

Some things Mouse has learned from Mister:

Touch not the cat unless the cat wants to be touched.

If it's cleaning the house, don't try to chase it or eat it. While some of the housekeeping staff may look and move a little too much like prey, there is a subtle yet important difference. Especially if one is concerned with spending the rest of one's life in one's natural shape.

If it smells magical, don't eat it.

If it smells cursed, don't eat it.

If it's glowing, pulsating, trying to read your mind, or actively on fire, don't eat it.

Tormenting the thing that lives in the skull can be an entertaining way to spend an otherwise dull afternoon, but don't take it too far. Especially never pee on or vomit on any of his romance novels.

Same goes for treatment of anything marked "GRIMOIRE."

Trust no human with teeth that look like yours and no body temperature.

Whatever "rampaging through Little Chicago like Godzilla or the Stay Puf't Marshmallow Man" means, don't do it. Ever.

If the human wizard comes home smelling of brimstone and worry, that can be an excellent time to make with the snuggles and doggy kisses.

The food supply is directly connected to the wizard's continued sanity.

If the cat is making a low, rumbling noise you might otherwise mistake for a funny sort of growl, it means the cat is happy.

Life goes better when the cat is happy.

A furry friend at your back can be a very good thing. This is true whether you're facing the forces of evil and two-legged weirdness, or it's just an ordinary cold sort of day when you could use a nap and someone warm to curl up with.

Trust the cat. Always.

 


End file.
